If it’s time to change…..Communication & Compromise are the key ingredients!

It is time for summer smiles! Sadly, not everyone is smiling.  Broken relationships with loved ones, family members, friends, spouses, and significant others can leave you sad, angry, disappointed, and frustrated.    All relationships go through stages and are constantly changing.  Compromising and Communicating are two key ingredients that equate to healthy and lasting relationships. It may seem basic, however, most broken relationships have lacked in these key areas. Are you willing to work on improving your communication and compromising skills?  I challenge you to give it a try.

Compromise is defined as making a concession or giving something up in order to reach a happy medium. Compromising is very easy for some people, while others struggle on a daily basis. Healthy compromise in relationships leaves each person feeling satisfied when concession is reached. Little compromises are natural and unavoidable in most healthy relationships. Giving up too much of what is important to you for the sake of relationship is not healthy and will result in feelings of resentment and sometimes anger.

Compromising may require us to step out of our comfort zone, take risks, and be willing to try new things. Some things can’t be compromised in a relationship and need to be communicated to the other party.

Communication is the 2^nd important ingredient.  Effective communication needs to be clear, concise, and direct.  It also requires listening to what the other party is saying. Many times we are not listening and instead thinking of what we are going to say next, therefore we are not understanding what the other party is saying. You gain great insight when you really hear what someone is saying. Many times in my daily work I hear, “If only I had known!” It is surprising how many people think their child, spouse, family member or friend know what the expectations are, when in fact they don’t. As the sender of the message, it is important we convey messages that are understandable, at times with feeling, using ‘I’ and not ‘You’ statements.

8 Steps to improve your communication & compromising skills:

1. Develop a plan for yourself, including the relationship you want to improve
2. Review the plan with a trusted friend or family member and ask for feedback
3. Be realistic in your expectations
4. Acknowledge and praise the efforts of the other party when you see they are trying
5. Be positive
6. Allow ample time for change to occur
7. Be open to feedback from others
8. Be willing to change yourself first

All relationships require effort and at times hard work. If you value the person, it is worth the effort. There may be some relationships that are not worth the effort required and may need to be repaired with the help of relationship professional. Start Compromising and Communicating today, and finish your summer with Smiles!

Debbie Riddle is a Licensed Clinical Social Worker in Delaware and New Jersey and CEO of Total Family Solutions.  www.totalfamilysolutions.com